I am not texting you first

I want him to text me first. If I text him first than I look desperate. If I wait long enough then maybe he will finally text me; or maybe he is too high and forgot I exist. That is what normally happens. He should text me first. He is the boyfriend, and I have texted him first the past like 3 days and I have sent him snap chats so he knows I exist. This should not be making me this paranoid should it? I mean it is not like he is seeing his ex again...I mean I am totally right for being weird about this right? I mean I am sitting around waiting all day for my boyfriend to text me so we can hang out. I know I shouldn't be sitting around waiting for him. He is obviously out having a grand ole time without me, so obviously I should go have fun without him. Right? Right?!?